Gentle Approach

I'll record this and send it to you, but so I got into this five-hour discussion on a TikTok live with atheists who were crushing Christians, and I stepped in. They pretty much handed me the microphone and I became the talker for literally five hours. And it wasn't really that confrontational. They were very curious, very accommodating, very gracious, surprisingly.

So this was a simple gospel thing. This was my very first live. I hadn't even gone live myself. I was still learning the ropes. I was kind of understanding, you know, what's the plan?

Yeah, so this was a European-based discussion board, you know, most of the people were over in Europe, but they were all across the world. And these were former Christians and whatever else.

Two Essential Keys for Reaching Atheists

Anyway, so based upon that super long discussion and my summary of it all, I'm not gonna give you the five-hour highlight, but number one: when dealing with an atheist, it's very important to compliment curiosity.

So two words: compliment, curiosity. You know, like if your kids are not curious to even ask you any questions, that's a really strong indicator that the conversation's not gonna go well. You can't force a conversation with someone who's just adamantly non-curious.

So if somebody's asking a question about God, spiritual, Bible, religion, anything, number one, say, "You know, that's pretty awesome that you're curious enough to ask that question. I appreciate your curiosity."

Number two: These guys allowed me. They were very gracious, very kind. There was a little bit of this and that, but pretty much they wanted to hear and they appreciated the conversation up until we reached what's called a pinch point.

The Pinch Point: Compassion

So the pinch point was compassion.

Like all of these atheists, they felt like there was an unresolved distance between themselves and God. And the distance was almost like God had shut them out, or God did not communicate clearly, or God was not good at connecting personally. Like they didn't have a tight relationship.

And when I started talking about the God of compassion and how He wants to enter into our pain, and He wants to suffer alongside us, and He wants to be in the yoke with us, and He wants to go to work with us... I mean, the whole crowd just started—half of it was like split about half and half. About half of them started saying, "That's exactly the kind of God, if I was ever gonna get a God. That's my God."

You know, people started, people started crying. They're like, how... one of them stood up and said, "You know, you're the first Christian that's ever been able to find my nerve. Like I feel like I'm in acupuncture. Like you hit the pain point."

And the pain point is: "Of course, I know there's a God. I'm an atheist, but of course I know there's a God, but I don't like Him because I don't like His communication style. I don't like His personality. I don't like how He abandons me. I feel abandoned by God."

You know, and these people, they're talking like over the top of each other. They're so excited about this concept that God... they don't want. They're like, "If God were genuinely compassionate, can you show me that in the Bible? How is that true? Because I just don't believe that God compassionately cares enough to communicate."

The Foundation: Defining a Genuine Christian

And all of this was spurned by them asking me the question, "What is your definition of a genuine Christian? What is your definition of what makes a person genuinely born again?"

And so I started at the beginning of the Gospel and we laid a foundation and they agreed on the definition of God. And we made it through to about the fifth attribute of what kind of a God would provide salvation.

Because, you know, I'm very methodical in my approach to the gospel, because if you skip key parts, then you're not allowing people to solve. I view the gospel as kind of like a puzzle, and I want people to solve it themselves and identify where they disagree with God.

And so we start with who God is, and we bring up about five or six of His core attributes. And normally, people have a problem with the core attributes of God. They don't have a problem with the gospel itself. They have a problem with the person behind the gospel.

And so when we got to the part about "God loves me and God wants to communicate with me," man, did that blow off some fireworks.

Why did they not like that one? Because on the one hand, half of the crowd desperately wanted a God that would love them. You know, they started talking about "my dad abandoned me and my mom, she never talked to me. And I feel like God is like my earthly parents. And, you know, I don't have that. I don't want it. I wish I could divorce myself from God and run away from Him and hide in a hole."

And, you know, it was just like, it was literally five hours. They just... you know, it took us about two to three hours for them to kind of learn to listen, to realize that I'm not going to call them names. And I was there out of genuine concern and that I appreciated their stories and I listened to their pain points.

But when it got to the part about compassion, a God of compassion, I mean it just exploded the door.

The Power of Assuming the Best

So all this, how this applies is: if I assume the worst about the audience, then I've made a natural enemy and they're gonna run and hide.

But you know, I had so many people reach out to me after that and they're like, "Dude, you're welcome back to talk. You can help us reach atheists and whatever else."

So all that to say, a person's accuracy in representing God... And I appreciate that you're trying to articulate the fact that you might be a little bit quick to rush to go to some kind of, you know, a solid definition of God.

Exercise: Your Top Five and Bottom Five

I would ask that you would maybe write down: What are my top five favorite attributes of who God is and why I like those?

Like I would believe that you're probably a big fan of God's justice, even though some people don't like that. They don't like the fact that God follows through with His words. They don't like, you know, the God Allah, for example—Allah, he is a God of random chaos when it comes to enforcing the law. He doesn't believe in the law. He just randomly forgives. No payment, no penalty. Everybody goes free today. I don't care. I'll let you all go.

That's okay. You shouldn't try to talk yourself out of believing that God is both justice and mercy. He is both the judge and the God of compassion, because every person has permission to have a favorite part of God.

I can tell you my least favorite part of God. If you get through that exercise and you come up with your top five, then really it would be healthy for you to come up with your least favorite five. You know, these are the five that are really confusing to me. Like, I don't like these attributes or identities or even the names of God.

You know, this could be like, "I think God is too merciful. I think He lets everybody off the hook. I don't understand. Like, why does God give us so much freedom?" You know, "I hate," like some people hate free will. "I hate free will. It allows me to crash my car. I don't want to crash my car. I wish I was a robot. I wish God would, you know, be more proactive whatever... like with me."

It's anger. Like I don't like the fact that God gives Himself permission to get angry, but He doesn't like it when I get angry because I mess it up. And I don't like anger personally. I don't like it when other people get mad at me. And I don't like when I get mad myself, and I wish I could change that and then come up with something better. But one thing that kind of irritates me about God is His anger.

Another thing... so this lady named Oprah, she divorced herself from the concept of God, having grown up in a fairly conservative church. But as soon as they mentioned one Sunday morning, the pastor emphasized the fact that God is a jealous God. And she's like, "I don't like that. I do not want a jealous God."

So, you know, that might be one of your least favorite characteristics. It doesn't mean that you don't agree with... I mean, sorry, it doesn't mean that you don't acknowledge that it exists. It just means that you're struggling to love that part. It's just, it's your least favorite.

Building Unity Through Understanding God

So your top five best and your top five least. And because really, you and your spouse are trying to fall in love with the same God. And I think it'd be a very healthy exercise for you to go through.

And, you know, for all of my rantings and ravings about Romanism and stuff, I think that's a good thing. However, if you just focus on the person, the person of Christ... what I appreciate, what I don't appreciate, what I'm learning, I'm trying... it'll really help you both develop a closeness to Him.

And of course, my close... developing close proximity to Him. We then associate, we associate a proper identity of the other person, you know like... She, she wants clarity on what is Kevin's relationship to God?

What, why, why is he so different and weird? Why, why does Kevin view God differently than I view God?